Author of Death by Roses
Is it safe to come out now? Am I the only one who has been emotionally whipped by long weeks of astrological, solar, moon and weather-related terrors that I have felt all the way to my bones? If so, that’s OK. Somehow, I think other people have similar feelings at times like these.
I was always the family scare-dy cat. My earliest memories are of things that scared me. It’s over sixty years later. Have I learned anything?
You bet I have.
I recently read “The Bestseller Code” by Jodie Archer and Matthew Jockers. Of course, their title captured me instantly. Is there a formula for a bestseller? If so, how close is my novel, ‘Death by Roses’? Can such a code help with my future writing? What about yours? Call me fascinated.
What astounded me most was their particular fact about ONE word. Did you know that using the word ‘the’ too often in novels actually rips energy out of a story and bores your readers? Really? Apparently so. ‘The’ nails a story’s coffin shut?
Do you remember childhood days when you and your siblings or friends would get rowdy in the house and Mom would say, “Take it outside”? There were four of us kids less than six years apart so we could get out of hand whether we were playing or fighting. Out we would go until Mom let us come back in—typically after we had used up some of our abundant energy.
In ‘I Was a Yo-Yo Wife…Until I Learned THIS’ I have changed the metaphor to ‘take it inside’. If we understand that what we see externally is actually a reflection of our inner world, the place to let off steam is within. I learned this lesson well in my second marriage.
“I no longer have any idea what my preferences are,” a young mother lamented to me last week as she struggled with her unhappiness in her job. It’s a common problem for busy people and particularly mothers. In fact, if you study the word ‘mothers’, you can see it split between ‘m’ and ‘others’, yes? Isn’t being a mother mostly about others? Of course it is!
If you, like this young woman, are feeling completely lost in OPPS! (Other People’s Problems), here’s what I learned and what I suggest to get back in touch with yourself. Why? Are you thinking, why should I bother? It will be years before the kids grow up!
On a radio interview not too long ago, the topic of purpose came up. I was asked how one finds their purpose and was unable to provide a satisfactory response. I could tell people were disappointed, as if they hoped I had some magical formula to share. Life purpose is a big question and one that we tend to think we have to hunt for in order to feel fulfilled.
‘Purpose’ is an interesting word. Originally from Latin, proponere. Pro = before; Ponere = to set or place. If we go back that far, purpose then is “that which a person sets before herself as an object to be reached or accomplished.”
Every Sunday I pull down several decks of ‘oracle’ cards and ask for messages for my up-coming week. These are beautiful and I always benefit from reading and studying whatever comes up.
Just once, I’d like to share with readers how such an activity encourages and empowers me. We will focus on last Sunday’s cards.
From ‘The Book of Rune Cards’ by Ralph Blum: FLOW: a time of cleansing, evaluating, organizing and aligning. Perfect. It’s supposed to be a rainy week which means I’ll be indoors. Good time to go through things no longer needed.
“I don’t care.”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“Whatever you want.”
“I just want you to be happy.”
How often do we say these words every day? Sometimes they’re true. However, I have often found that I say them to avoid what I fear most—expressing my opinion which would require me to say what is valid and honest and true for me. It’s how I hide who I am.
Yes, there’s a ‘p’ missing because we’re talking about an artist becoming ‘blue’ after their work is released—ahem—delivered.
When a baby is born, there’s typically a swarm of friends and family to ooh and aah as a family adjusts to a new member of their family. Once that passes, it’s easy for a new mom to take a ride on an emotional roller coaster that can pitch and dive right along with her hormones, her postpartum pain, her sleepless nights, retracting uterus, and so much more. I wish someone had told me about afterbirth pains after my second child was born!
Yesterday was book launch day! ‘I Was a Yo-Yo Wife…Until I Learned THIS’ is in print, on-line and going public!* Seems like a great day to talk about Marital Martial Art #10: Suggest to your spouse that he or she needs counseling (and you don’t).
Am I the only woman in the world who has suggested marriage counseling to my spouse?
I don’t think so.
Am I the only woman in the world who has sought professional help to cope with my marriage without my husband present (mostly because he doesn’t want to be)?
I know I’m not.
NEWS FLASH! ‘I Was a –Yo-Yo Wife’ is now available! Order ‘I Was a Yo-Yo Wife’ and ‘Death by Roses’, the companion non-fiction and fiction books and we’ll make a 15% donation to the Women’s Center of Waukesha, Wisconsin.
Read how ‘The Women’s Center’ changed Vivian’s life in ‘I Was a ‘Yo-Yo Wife!’
It’s a wedding ring; not a boxing ring!